Funny Quotes Be the Person Your Cat Thinks You Are
Let's face information technology. Cats are a hilarious fauna.
They are either evil masterminds, or complete derps, only either way, I will laugh at all the kitties.
This is a curated sub-category. Bank check out our total collection of cat quotes.
"Cats can work out mathematically the verbal identify to sit that volition cause most inconvenience. -Pam Chocolate-brown
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they take not forgotten this. -Terry Pratchett
"The problem with cats is that they become the aforementioned exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer. -Paula Poundstone
"There is, incidentally, no way of talking almost cats that enables one to come off every bit a sane person. -Dan Greenberg
"A cat is an case of sophistication minus civilization. -Bearding
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you subsequently. -Mary Bly
"No amount of time tin can erase the memory of a practiced cat, and no amount of masking record tin can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. -Leo Dworken
"Dogs have owners, cats take staff. -Unknown
"After scolding 1'due south cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. -Charlotte Grayness
"I'g a cat whisperer. When I go to people's houses, their cats always like me better than the owners. -Cory Monteith
"A cat determined not to exist found can fold itself up similar a pocket handkerchief if it wants to. -Louis J. Camuti
"Women and cats will do equally they delight, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein
"She clawed her mode into my middle and wouldn't allow become. -Missy Altijd
"When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her? -Montaigne
"The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd rather sleep on y'all than beside you lot. -Pam Chocolate-brown
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats discover humans useful domestic animals. -George Mikes
"A cat tin can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings. -William Ralph Inge
"I have noticed that what cats nigh capeesh in a human is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted–merely his or her entertainment value. -Geoffrey Household
"Equally every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. -Ellen Perry Berkeley
"Cats exercise care. For case they know instinctively what time we have to exist at work in the morning and they wake us up xx minutes before the warning goes off. -Michael Nelson
"If just cats grew into kittens. -R. Stern
"Cats' hearing apparatus is built to let the man vox to hands become in 1 ear and out the other. -Stephen Bakery
"When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Non considering I care about their mood but because I know they're but sitting there thinking upward ways to get even. -Percy Bysshe Shelley
"Kittens are born with their eyes close. They open up them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. -Stephen Bakery
"An ordinary kitten will inquire more questions than any five yr erstwhile. -Carl Van Vechten
"The style to get on with a cat is to treat information technology every bit an equal – or even better, as the superior information technology knows itself to be. -Elizabeth Peters
"Cats have it all – admiration, an endless slumber, and company merely when they desire it. -Rod McKuen
"I gave my cats a bath the other day … they dear it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that… -Steve Martin
"Cats can be cooperative when something feels expert, which, to a cat, is the style everything is supposed to feel as much of the time equally possible. -Roger Caras
"People who detest cats, will come back every bit mice in their next life. -Faith Resnick
"A cat tin purr its manner out of anything. -Donna McCrohan
"Everything I know I learned from my cat: When y'all're hungry, swallow. When yous're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. -Gary Smith
"I don't retrieve it is and so much the bodily bath that virtually cats dislike; I think it's the fact that they have to spend a good part of the twenty-four hours putting their hair dorsum in place. -Debbie Peterson
"A cat's got her own opinion of man beings. She don't say much, but you tin can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. -Jerome Thou. Jerome
"I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the same matter at the same time. -Neil Gaiman
"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, savage little bastards they are. Manner. That's what people call up. -Terry Pratchett
"A cat isn't fussy – but so long as you call back he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor. -Arthur Bridges
"It is impossible to continue a straight confront in the presence of one or more kittens. -Cynthia E. Varnado
"Cats are rather fragile creatures and they are discipline to a good many different ailments, but I accept never heard of one who suffered from indisposition. -Joseph Wood Krutch
"The true cat is the only fauna without visible means of support who still manages to find a living in the city. -Carl van Vechten
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and vicious. True, and they have many other fine qualities equally well. -Missy Dizick
"Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second all-time, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility. -Stephen Bakery
"1 is never sure, watching two cats washing each other, whether it's affection, the sense of taste or a trial run for the jugular. -Helen Thomson
""Meow" means "woof" in cat. -George Carlin
"I'one thousand i of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown. -Dennis Miller
"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets. -Neil Gaiman
"Sleeping together is a euphemism for people, simply tantamount to marriage with cats. -Marge Percy
"Cats are intended to teach u.s.a. that not everything in nature has a role. -Garrison Keillor
"A cat is the merely domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it. -Joseph Epstein
"Did St. Francis preach to the birds? Whatever for? If he actually liked birds he would have done better to preach to the cats. -Rebecca West
"My cat is not insane, she's but a actually good actress. -P.C. Cast
Source: https://www.curatedquotes.com/cat-quotes/funny/